After a few days of procrastinating, I finally went shopping today to get the few new things I need for Denmark. My shopping list was pretty short - I just needed some toiletries, a raincoat, new luggage, luggage locks and outlet converters. 

I started the trip at Target, where I found a cute green raincoat and most of the toiletries I needed. Annoyingly enough, they were out of my shampoo, but not conditioner, and the yellow Burt's Bees but not the red. This unfortunately meant that I needed to extend my trip and pay a visit to Walmart as well. Darn you, Target!

I spent about 30 minutes just staring at the luggage, hoping that if I stared long enough something cute and pink would appear in place of the boring grey bags they had. But it's just my luck that I used up my last spontaneous object apparition last night when I wanted a hot fudge sundae but could only find strawberry jelly in the refrigerator. 

So, since I was forced to buy ugly luggage, it was only fair that I should also buy hot pink TSA approved baggage locks to compensate. As I picked up the package to make sure the locks were, indeed, TSA approved, I noticed a rather large warning label on the back. Apparently, these locks included chemicals which were known to cause cancer and birth defects later in life. It was also advised that you wash your hands every time you touch the locks. After weighing the pros and cons of having three-armed babies, I opted to buy the lime green locks instead. No one wants to pay to send their kid to a therapist because he was known as "tentacle head" all through first and second grade. (Kids can be so cruel ... and I'm not sure why the teacher thought it would be appropriate to join in the mocking as well.)

After this prolonged mental debate, I moved on to the next item on my list. Having no idea where to find power strips, I decided to ask a knowledgeable Target employee. "Excuse me," I said, "could you tell me where I could find power strips?" I got a blank stare. "What's that?" 

Now it was my turn to stare. "You know, it's that thing you plug into an outlet and it has a strip of about 5 other outlets so you can plug in more things." Another blank stare. "I work in the food section so I don't know what you're talking about. You'll have to ask someone over in electronics." Really? I don't even think I should have to comment on this story.

Someone up there must know that I'm working on a blog and would need stories, because the powers that be made sure my day was filled with not-so-competent employees. In the electronics section, I asked someone where I could find outlet converters so that I could use American appliances in Europe. He directed me towards the home improvement section. So, I asked the employee there where I could find outlet converters. He walked me over to the area where the power strips were (he should work at Target) and triumphantly said, "here you are!" I tried to explain that I didn't want a power strip or similar item, but I wanted an adaptor that had different shapes so that I could use American appliances in Europe. He pointed to 

a surge protector, and explained to me that not only did they have ones that were square, but they had rectangles and circles, too! Once again I tried to explain what I needed: Not different shaped apparatuses, but different shaped male outlets. Specifically, a male outlet with two circular prongs instead of two flat prongs. After he told me that he already showed me the circle plugs, I thanked him and decided to move on. Luckily, I found a different employee back in the electronics section who knew exactly what I was talking about. 

So, things I learned today:

1) Always read the warning labels. Because as awesome as it would be to be the mother of Jamee, 4-legged Olympic gold medalist, the stress of finding clothes that actually fit him may not be worth it.

2) Three out of every 4 people you talk to will be completely useless.

3) Target has cute raincoats.